Life is a Banquet

The Greek philosopher Epictetus (55 AD to 135 AD) once famously said 'Life is a Banquet'.

Think about it. When you go to a banquet, you conduct yourself in a dignified manner. The waiters from the hotel or the host's side, bring you different refreshments and beverages. You take them one at a time. Possibly, you nibble at some. Ignore some. And decline a few others. You don't show any sense of urgency or avarice at what does come your way or does not come your way. You go with the 'flow' of the banquet. Behaving in an accepting, dignified and polished manner. Why?

Because you want to be perceived as one who is aesthetic, dignified and well-mannered by your host. Right?

Now think of who is hosting you in the banquet called life? Are you behaving with the same about of stoic calm and acceptance with what comes your way in life? If not, why not?

The truth is that we think this life is because of us. Instead of realizing that it is in spite of us. Why cannot we conduct ourselves in life the way we would at a banquet? Choosing what comes our way and never displaying undue urgency or greed in making our choices. You enjoy a banquet when your host enjoys having you over. Similarly, in this banquet called life, don't you want your host, the Universal Source of Energy (or God or whatever you call it), to enjoy having you over? Think about it.

The Learnings:
1. In this banquet called life, choose intelligently from what comes your way.
2. Avoid both undue urgency and greed.
3. Behave in a manner in which the Universal Host (the Creator) enjoys having you over!

Don't behave like the Fly on a Glass Pane!

Have you observed a housefly on a window's glass pane?

Attracted by the sight and light on the other side of the window, the fly desparately wants to go out and explore God's open spaces. But because it is a housefly and cannot think, it keeps singularly attempting to break through the glass pane and go out. Its battle continues till it drops dead on the window's ledge.

Alas! If only the housefly had turned around and looked at the open door it might have found a better, simpler and surer way to go out of the room.

This is how we humans also deal with problems in our life. We keep banging our heads against problems without stepping back and discovering a different way of solving them. Resultantly, the problems remain where they are and we end up being bruised and hurt__emotionally and spiritually.


On the other hand, if we treat every problem as an opportunity to learn and explore newer ways of solving them, we will last longer, really longer! Remember that whenever a window is closed, a door is always open in the vicinity.


Learnings:
1. If you wish to solve a problem, you must realize that you must change the mind that caused or created the problem in the first place
2. A closed window always indicates a door is open nearby
3. God gives us problems so that we can gain from the experience of solving them!

Haange Maadi Saar

I have a cab driver that I regularly use in Bengaluru. The reason I like to use him is because he is a no-nonsense guy. Everything that you tell him will be received with a characteristic 'Haange Maadi Saar' which translates (not literally) to mean 'As you wish' in Kannada. (Literally it means, 'Do as you wish'.) This gentleman Prasad has been my cabbie in Bengaluru for over 12 years now. And never have I heard the word 'No' being uttered by him to any instruction or request of mine. Nothing but the staple 'Haange Maadi Saar' will ever escape his lips.

In recent days, when I was reflecting on how life happens even as you are busy making other plans, the wisdom in Prasad's attitude towards his clients' wishes/aspirations/expectations dawned on me. The reason we experience grief is when our expectations are not met. The reality is that expectations always bring agony. However, if we begin to live with the belief that every moment has been equisitely and exclusively crafted by God, for us, to experience and learn about HIS or HER purposeful ways, then there will be no expectation. And therefore no pain. Situations, good, bad, ugly or WOW!, whatever they may be, using Prasad's three-word submission is the best way to deal with the situation. Any situation. Just try telling God 'Haange Maadi Saar' (As you wish!) each time you encounter a high or a huge low, and you will feel bliss. And feel secure.


Learnings: 1. To live in the moment, accept what comes your way 2. Thank God by accepting God's design of the moment you are in__because that was especially created for you.

Open And Hoist Your Sails

Swami Ramakrishna Paramahamsa once said,"The grace of God is always blowing." And it is up to us to catch it.

Interestingly, we, being the confused complicated mortals that we are, don't realize this. Instead we think and expect God to be an external resource who will come riding in a shining knight's armor and save us from pain and suffering. A more evolved perspective is that because we think of God as an external resource__separate and detached from us__we don't open up our souls to liberation, peace and opportunity. We conduct our lives like untrained boat people, who are trying to get their boats moving, but without opening and hoisting their sails. Result: the boat wobbles, needs tremendous energy and effort to budge and, often times, capsizes. On the other hand, those boats, whose owners, hoisted their sails, manage to catch the wind and set sail. Reaching their destinations, effortlessly, purposefully. Ramakrishna's subtle reminder to us should invite us to look within and open up (the sails of) our souls. We must realize that only an open soul can benefit from the grace that exists within us. You can call this acceptance or surrender or even joyful living. Whatever it is, it is the most intelligent thing to do.

Learnings:
1. God is no external resource.
2. It is the grace within us.
3. But to catch it, we need to open up our souls and stop trying to control our lives or those of others around us. Or to seek external solutions to the emptiness within us.
4. Just open yourself up and you will experience a whole new world of peace and possibilities.

The Shampoo Effect

It is often said that the best ideas come in the bath. And this one too comes from there.

If you stop to consider learning from a palmful of shampoo, you will be enlightened. When you are washing you hair, you take just a palmful of shampoo at best. Too less will not do the job and too much will mean wastage. In the limited span of time that the solution spends in your hair, it cleans, cures dandruff, conditions and nurtures the roots. If it spends to much time there it will lead to your hair matting and it will have to be forcibly removed. If it spends less time in there, it will not do the job. Our existence, pretty much, is like a palmful of shampoo. We have a limited tenure and limited utility. In the time that we are allowed by the user, in this case the Creator, we have to complete our 'mission'. Some of us are just like ordinary shampoo that just cleans. Some of us have multiple features like conditioners or ones that add a fragrance and still others have the properties of a hair tonic too. Each shampoo brand is different. But all have to perform one, singular duty for sure: they must clean our hair. Think about our life in those terms. We have to live our lives with the same commitment. We are created here with a purpose. And we must fulfil that cause. In this journey, we have no right to complain or get angry or be depressed. Our manufacturer has decreed us to perform certain tasks and we have no choice but to accomplish those__without fear or favor__in the limited tenure of our existence.

Learnings:

1. A palmful of shampoo can teach us about life
2. That we are here for a specific purpose
3. That we must fulfil that purpose without fear or favor in the limited tenure of our existence.

What's your Life's GPA?

In recent times, thanks to my son, who is pursuing his Undergrad at the University of Chicago, I have been introduced to the concept of GPA__Grade Point Average. It is always on a maximum of 4 Points and the closer you are to 4, the better.

This brought me to examine life, its myriad challenges, opportunities, temptations and learnings. And I set off to reason and to explore how God would rate us, humans, for our performance in our lives, on a GPA scale.

What I discovered was both simple and shocking at the same time. In God's Manual, the following Standard Operating Principles will fetch full marks or what they call A+ Grades:

1. Did you understand the core purpose of your creation to be to realize the truth__of our existence, that all life is equal?
2. Did you deliver on the performance expected of you/of every human being which is to be loving__towards all?
3. Did you practice giving selflessly?
4. Did you keep the faith and stay patient during your 'darkest' hours?

Applying this logic, none of us mortals would get an A+. Because, on an average, we don't accept that all creation is equal. This leads us to practice different, variable behavioral standards with different people. We often look for returns when giving anything__money, time, advice, opportunity. And in the times that we are troubled, we stop believing there is a God or even a Universal Energy Source.

Imagine writing an exam without understanding or even attempting to know what are the criteria for assessment? Well, that's exactly what all of humanity is doing today. Taking an exam called life__living__without realizing that all God expects us to do is to fulfil the four simple criteria listed above.

Invariably, all of us, until a great awakening moment comes, lead our lives in painful ignorance, agonizing over our existence and circumstances. And then the moment comes. We lose a dear one or we lose all that we created or we are subject to public trial for no fault of ours__and then the WHY ME? question gives way to a grudging acceptance, followed by total surrender. In surrendering, we actually end up realizing ourselves. And in one flash, the four simple measures of our performance show up before us. They then become the raison d'etre for us to live from that moment on.

Make no mistake. Whoever we are, whatever we do, one day, in this life time, that moment will arrive in our lives. Until then we will struggle to get our GPA up. And then, in one defining moment, the truth will emerge. After that living__getting an A+ from and in life__will become so easy and simple. That's when we will realize that living is loving.

Learnings:
1. The criteria for living your life intelligently and purposefully are very different from what we understand them to be.
2. Resultantly, after a lifetime of work, we realize, we have done nothing that merits an A+.
3. Once that realization happens, living becomes simple. Living becomes loving.

Shrink the Error Rate of Your Thinking

Haven’t you wished you knew of a better way to live? And to be worry-free, happy and blissful?

Be sure. It is possible. And it does not require you to give up anything you have.

All you need to do is to think right. The human mind, on an average, thinks 60,000 thoughts a day. These thoughts occur at random. Most often, they are of regret or guilt (a past experience) or are of anxiety (of the unknown future). Rarely do we think of the present. Because we somehow have this notion that life is a dress rehearsal. It is not. This is it. So, we must learn to live in the now. And not just exist. And to live, we need to be thinking right. Which means we must shrink our thinking error rate.

Through a structured approach called Six Sigma for the Soul^TM, you can reach and sustain a state of better (error-free) thought and better living. Here are some baby steps to get you started.

1. Learn from crisis: Almost always the journey inward or the flowering of internal awareness (a.k.a spirituality) happens when we are confronted with a crisis. When crisis hits us, we often ask,”why me?” The fact is we don’t like to be in a spot. But the truth also is that we are. So, instead of asking why me, ask what you can learn from the experience. This introspection will lead to your thinking decisive thoughts aimed at challenging and changing the status quo.

2. Drop Anchor: Still the mind: This simply means practice calmness. Avoid both guilt and anxiety like plague. Wake up at 4 AM. And in the stillness of the morning, sit quietly with eyes closed in a place of your choice at home where you will not be disturbed, in any posture that suits you, and start thinking about your life and relationships, your goals for the day, for the week, the month and year. Focus on what gives you joy__and savor the moment. Focus also on people whose behavior you don’t like. And practice giving them a mental hug. Love these people in your mind. Your mind will fight you. It will try to position your painful experiences and problem people as unforgettable and unforgivable. But you fight back. Drive the vengeful and pity-seeking thoughts away. Go back to loving thoughts. Do this every day, for 21 days, for an hour each day. Make sure your silence period is not interrupted. If it is start your silence hour all over again. If you hear ambient sounds, like the clock ticking, a door opening, footsteps, the door bell, tell yourself that you don’t hear those. Order your mind to concentrate on the silence period. Believe me, you will gain control of your mind. And you will become calm. You will soon stop reacting to people and events. And this will bring more sanity and peace to you__even if it doesn’t mend a relationship or a situation immediately.

3. Know that expectations bring agony: All our suffering is from needing things, people’s behavior or events to be different. We can want things or people or events to be different. There is nothing wrong with wanting. It is the needing that must go. Needing brings expectations that bring agony. So each time your mind begins to crave for something to be different, restrain it.

4.Surrender totally: Know that nothing in this Universe, not even this piece that you are reading__or whatever brings you pain, joy, money, or your relationships__has come to you or been given to you without being part of a larger cosmic design. The Masterplan (The Master’s Plan actually) has no flaws. Every challenging situation is an opportunity for The Master to remind us that you are not the Boss. So, just surrender totally. Each moment, just ask the Lord to lead the way and say, “I surrender”. That works magic like nothing else will ever.

The Learnings:

1. Want what you get: that's happiness
2. With peace and happiness life ceases to be a worry game
3. Expectations bring agony: acceptance is a good antidote there
4. The Master's Plan has no flaws
5. It is what it is